Attending to Business

I must endeavor to better secure my library. My friend the Arab Shazaal – by the way, his name is very peculiar. I have spoken Arabic for many years, and it is entirely unfamiliar. I suspect he is in fact Persian, or perhaps a Jew. In any case, my friend Shazaal had requested some time for research among my books (they were delivered with great speed by an American that Conrad hired, a man called Lindman or Lindstein or some name like this who flew them from my parents' estate in Montilla) and observed the infiltration of my new apartment by an odd group of orange apes – and this after I cured the windowboxes with nightshade oil and barberry not twelve hours before. I think I am still needing to adjust to life in this city of big apples.

Luckily my Oriental friend has a prodigious beard which typically contains several snakes. I have in the past complained about this habit as being very unseemly, and distressing for my women visitors, but in this instance it was most fortuitous. The apes were very disturbed when the snake appeared, and left my library with great speed. I was so pleased when Shazaal related this story that I briefly contemplated acquiring beard-snakes of my own. Upon reflection, however, I have decided to content myself with loosing several specimens of Hindi cobra among my book collection, which ought to deter future intrusions! Conrad was most displeased.

We spoke with Mr. Thorn today about my plans with his painting. He was reluctant, which I suppose is only natural considering his recent brushes with untimely demise. We received a most distasteful message from this Atricamp fellow while meeting with Mr. Thorn. He claimed to be holding captive our compatriots Señor Graeffenwehr and Señorita Calico, as well as the singer Alyssa Cardinal who we have only just met. He required that we fetch him a painting, but I spat at the idea of traveling to some New Jersey swamp to do the bidding of a creature such as Atricamp. Nick, Bernie, and Shazaal resolved to go however (I had forgotten to mention that Bernie arrived in New York just this morning in a fine new automobile!), while I was able to convince Mr. Thorn the painter that to find Boss Aprile would be worth the risk of his painting.

This returns me to the security of my library; in truth, the security of my new home in its entirety. Boss Aprile has already contacted me about attending this game (word had spread very quickly when I mentioned the name of Mr. Thorn's painting), and I must be prepared for him to behave ungraciously, as I understand he is a criminal of some renown. I believe I shall invite Rufus to come join me – he will appreciate the new apartment, and could help if this Aprile character becomes unpleasant. I will also have Conrad install some mechanism or other; I have no time myself, as I have just begun training Pepito. I believe he has learned his name – and as reward I have presented him with a fine hat I acquired in Tangiers, with which he has become quite taken.

Oh dear. I believe Ignacio is screaming. I fear he has attempted to read his Bibles of Tijuana in the library. I must remember to post a note for the staff to remind them of the new cobras.

The game will be tomorrow! I must make a meticulous toilet beforehand – the wooing of Lady Fortune is no simple affair, and I shall be in need of all her affections. It shall be quite an evening. Until then, may she smile as well upon you!


- Carlos Guillermo M.R.T.F.H. del Sol

El Diamante